Why do we allow people to treat us badly? or When we teach people how to treat you poorly, they dominate!
I never thought that I was able to tolerate a lot of anything negative but after a recent experience, I have learnt that I am able to tolerate much more that I think I can. When you are in the midst of abuse, it’s easy to disguise the incident, event, experience or process as something that is part of the relationship instead of seeing it as people treating you badly. Infact, we teach people how to treat us poorly and it happens much more than we even think.
While dealing with a toxic working off balanced office, I decided, I needed to ask a friend who has shown some business chops to come in and help me change the upside down noise in my office. When she came in, her presence was quickly established. The fact that people started turning to her to get help, direction and leadership was also evident. She was able to quickly command presence and I am drawn to that. I being the owner, gave her full autonomy over the
So recently I had a big break up, not with a girlfriend, or wife, but a business partner. It was one of those things that happened when you allow others into your space and they come in, take over and then started to push you out. It was the best example of a bad marriage when you marry out your class. I would not go into detailing any of the incidents because anyone would think of me as crazy, bizarre and even question my credibility but it’s easy to seek help and end up with an upside down cart only to discover, the cart all along was yours but others are controlling it.
The truth is, I permitted her to treat me that way. I gave her permission to manage my operations, to manage my finances, to manage my student and clients and it ended up as she was in charge and I was being pushed out, abused and even left out to dry.
We all have been in a position when we allowed what we saw as a good break, a good deal or a great opportunity only to end up with more chaos, trouble and problems that haunt the daylights out of us. It was just a bad grimy situation and to make it short. I was being abused and refused to see it although I was shown all the warning signs.
So to say men can’t be abuse, I beg to differ but we do teach others who to treat us and then permit people to treat us badly as we seek approval, attention and affiliation.
Learn quickly, know the signs of abuse, understand the importance of integrity and don’t permit others to treat you badly. I have learnt this lesson the hard way, I literally had to issue a cease and desist and seek the attorney general office to remedy this situation. It can happen easily to others, you never see it coming but it presents itself as help. Never gave it permission.